Chapter 1 ABD Commentary

Original Sporking found here, Daily Palestine and other causes Click here
Current Rotation: Yoona, Kanaki, Ignatius, Benny, and Taeyeon

In the dark pits of the Nohrian prison, the condemned man waited through the night. At least, he thought it was night. It had been so long since he had seen the sky, but even if he had, it still would have been difficult to tell. So oppressive was the dark that covered their land, the only way to tell the time was by the clocks; or, in his case, the meals.

Kanaki: Yeesh, way to really set the grimdark. I think I could cut myself on the edge. Then again, this is a teenager's image of what's cool.

Ignatius: We know this is Hans, but setting up with a death row criminal really doesn't sell well for first impressions.

It wasn't as if the man didn't deserve it; he was absolutely guilty of his crimes. He was a liar, a thief, a murderer. He knew all of this, but why should he be punished for his crimes when their rulers walked free for the same things? No, he wasn't being punished for any wicked deeds; he was being punished for being poor. Such was the world he'd been born in; the world of famine, disease, poverty, and decay that the rest of the world shunned and tried to pretend just didn't exist. The world of Nohr.

Benny: Nohr isn't that miserable. If it were, we would have long defected.

Boyd the Reaver: *deathly quiet, before cracking neck* Okay, I also want to object and emphasize that this is supposed to be our protagonist. A protagonist that, in the first few words since we’ve met her, basically is using a prisoner as free target practice under the “justification” they’re going to die anyways while also conveniently being someone who is either alleged of rape and murder… and this somehow makes it better? The only way some dumbshit fuck-headed logic like that would work is by assuming the Just-World Hypothesis, which in itself is frankly giving this scene more of a benefit of the doubt than it deserves due to effectively being used with all the tact and grace of a bad adult comedy cartoon. So in other words, straight out of the gate, the fic not only makes Corrin an utter psychopath, they fail from the get-go to make Nohr look even close to reasonable.

Yoona: I'm more than aware that Conquest Corrin's decision is... controversial to say the least. This doesn't sell me on how that decision would be a good one. Now I'm just thinking she wants blood for the blood gods when Corringula goes back to them.

Taeyeon: She comes across as a child bored of her toys and now wants a pony, except replace "toys" with "human fodder" I guess.

Leliel: Also, yeah, apparently this man is a serial killer, therefore it is good to murder him for a training exercise because the princess found trainers boring. Congrats, author, you have made me agree with the anti-royalist beliefs of the local version of H.H. Holmes.

Taeyeon: I fear for those who might have been wrongfully convicted. This is the kind of horror Shield Hero should have been subjected to if they weren't spineless about punishing Naofumi for a serious crime. Gladiatorial matches are the stuff the villainous tyranny does, not a flawed and struggling kingdom! I get Garon makes it seem that way, but it's not what his children condone!

Jude: No kidding - what kind of arbiter of justice does the author consider himself above, the gods? Either way, no point for that, but my gods that’s so childish to even suggest. Who’d come up with such a bad simile like that?!

Benny: Actually, just a teenager himself, who had his own misconceptions about a well-written darker reimagining.

Boyd the Reaver: *facepalms* Okay, apparently we have more shit to tackle just soon after that! Alright sheilah, the sheer amount of failure that the author wrote down their seems again dismissive to the attitude of royalty and why Garon even became a pawn of Anankos to begin with; he couldn’t let go of his harem, and when he grew old, they tried getting a claim to the throne. Only four of his children survived, too, and the fact that the whole clusterfuck destabilized the nation as a whole. Sure, it’s world-building that could’ve benefited from explaining beyond Camilla’s few decent supports, but come on, even that shows why Garon did a 180 and went from a decent king to a psychopath; because he died, and Anankos possessed his corpse! You think that when writing a political drama the author would get that, but nope, it’s edgy so it ‘kewl’. Which frankly makes Corrin here look ten times the idiot they ever were in canon, even at their absolute worst - because even the game doesn’t justify what they did in Conquest, and showed real consequences for it.

Yoona: Also the fact that it's an offhand trait that goes absolutely nowhere. It's just filler gratuitous sex. Then again, we can blame the teenager absorbing edgy media and crapping it out on his own work.

Ignatius: Well said, Mom- I mean Aunt Yoona. This is just one of the few examples, as we can see that offhand rape mentions will pop up quite a bit in the future. Especially when it comes to Hans and his ilk.

Beast Keaton: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! WE DON’T KNOW WHAT THE DRAGON-DAMNED SUN LOOKS LIKE?! HAS THIS AUTHOR NEVER STUDIED PHOTOSYNTHESIS?! WHAT DOES THE NOHR OF THIS FIC EAT, THEIR OWN LEAVINGS?! HUH?! OR DO WE SURVIVE ON THE NUTRITIONAL FORCE OF GRIMDARK?! GHWRRRROOARR!

Benny: I'd be concerned of what the maids' breakfast they gave Corringula is made of. The Nohr established here makes me think they're not above butchering prisoners to feed the upper class. Cannibalism is canon and dehumanization is already a running issue in this fanfiction.

Taeyeon: That's all we have for today. The next rotation will have Subaki, Caeldori, Kanny, Irene and Midori just taking a quick looksee at the family dynamic. Honestly, I can't tell which one of us is better or worse...

Chapter 2 ABD Commentary

Original Sporking found here, Daily Palestine and other causes Click here

Current Rotation: Irene, Subaki, Kanny, Caeldori, Midori

Irene: Well, my counterparts took an arrow in the knee for the first chapter, but now it's my turn.

"Yes, I'm sorry about that; father has been keeping us busy this past year."
Boyd the Reaver: Wait, wait, wait. Isn’t their assignment in canon to watch over Corrin? Why would they be away for a year when the Nohrian royals periodically visit regularly?

Irene: You know, if the story actually did dark, realistic fallout, it could have had Corringula's sadistic prisoner torment and sexual escapades be the result of a psychotic breakdown from the isolation. Maybe her character could have some semblance of tragedy as the loneliness gets to and drains her empathy and she runs through humans, sexually and literally, just to feel something... Unfortunately, Teen DDI hasn't thought that far and is in general allergic to good ideas.

"I'm sorry, my lords, I was told that she was breaking her fast here…" The guard tried to explain, before they saw her descending down the staircase
Velouria: ‘Breaking her fast’? I know we sound a bit formal to your world’s ears, but come on. Charlotte refers to a lunch box, for crying out loud!
Charlotte: Yeah, that’s just straight-up ignoring characters’ mannerisms of speech, for the gods’ sake! I don’t ever use that sort of speech, for crying out loud!

Caeldori: Father and I can speak rather formally. I can assure we have never spoken in that manner. Also I suppose we're ignoring the casual prisoner murder?

Subaki: If anything, this more like Flayn from Three Houses, who spoiler, turns out to be secretly 1000s of years old and has an antiquated way of speaking. Actually, given the guards are low ranked, why are they speaking so formally? 

Boyd the Reaver: Oh, I’m not done. Thing is, though - design is not character. It’s a part of character, but it doesn’t substitute. There’s a reason animes who you can guess the characterization of at a glance at the designs are generally regarded as shallow. And the thing about Camilla is that her design is a way to help make the revelation that she’s broken a surprise - and I say that as somebody who doesn’t even like her that much! See, out of all the Nohrian siblings, Camilla’s had the worst of it, and it shows - all of her motherly behavior and flirting? It’s a way to patch over just how desperate she is to connect with people after having been a tool her entire life. It becomes clear if you don’t side with Nohr, but Camilla is not entirely sane, and even in Conquest, she shows signs of how desperate she is to have something in her life she’s happy about. She’s just stable there because Corrin hasn’t done a merry jig on her triggers. Does it justify her lack of character? No, but it definitely isn’t a justification to assume one’s one-note because of it!
Leliel: But nope, we can’t have early hints of canon trauma in a darkfic. That’d get in the way of completely unneeded comic relief in the key of the bleeding obvious sex humor!

Kanny: Aunt Camilla is actually pretty well fleshed out in fanmade supports. It's amazing what actual fans can do! In fairness, teenagers have short attention span so that's probably why these actual issues are glossed over. 

"A message from the Northern Fortress, my lord." Iago announced upon entering his throne room, "They say the Hoshidan has passed her trial yesterday, ." He deliberately avoided using Corrin's name, to dehumanize her in his own eyes. It was a prejudice that Garon put up with because he was loyal, and useful, to Nohr.

Kanny: Hey does Garon keep Iago around because he's actually Anankos's puppet and therefore doesn't give two hoots about Corrin? The fact the sans-Anankos Garon tolerates this is really not winning any prizes. Also TVTropes's Fridge even notes Nohr is less racist than Hoshido. Hoshidan defectors like Mozu and Kaze are treated with less suspicion and hostility in Conquest compared to Silas and Jakob on Birthright. This is removing valid canonical points of Nohr not being as bad of a nation as it is on the surface!

"Hey, what are you two talking about?" Elise rode her steed beside the carriage, peering through the window
"Just catching Corrin up on all she missed, dearie."
"Why does she look...dead?"
Corrin forced out a smile, "I just...stayed up a bit late, that's all…"
"Oh, well I guess that makes sense."
Velouria: It’s minor, but I don’t think Auntie Elise was ever that naive. She knows what Camilla’s mother was like, so I suspect she’d know what alcohol is in a darker fic; no need to protect her from that.

Midori: And of course, where would we be without the overly moe little sisters? Ignoring the fact that Aunt Elise can be pretty sassy when she feels like it, she is also a healer and defies her father to help Corrin on all routes! Then again, her character assassination is at least less brutal than what happens to Aunt Sakura. 

Irene: This was a lighter chapter compared to the last one, but it's about to increase in suck.

Midori: No kidding, I pity Father having to witness what happens to him next chapter....