Chapter 3 ABD Commentary pt 2

[4leavesonaclover]

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Current Rotation: Yoona, Subaki, Irene, Benny, Kaze

Yoona: We're back, and we're not excited for what we have.

Theresia: Also, don’t think I didn’t notice we didn’t even catch Kaze’s name. How very much he was valued, given how he defects to Nohr in the Conquest route. I feel like there could be a lot of tension as he loses faith in Hoshido and eventually Nohr’s sympathetic traits win him over, but no. He gets to be part of this stupid game that nearly had a very stupid prize. How worthwhile.

Kaze: I chose to follow the Avatar on Conquest because I recognized they want peace and to stop the vicious cycle of battle and vengeance. But of course, everyone is supposed to be the bad guy and pacifism is spineless.

Benny: You can really tell the work of Teenage DDI's spite against any canon points of the gray-on-grey morality of the two kingdoms.

Leliel: I think I can guess the reason for this change… and I suspect that it’s an early sign of what this Hoshido’s attitude is towards outsiders. No dirty mouths around their food! And also a way dumber idea than the pacification barrier, because even from a realpolitik standpoint, simply having it that an army can’t take food from you but can deal with you fairly for it is a good way to have them eating out of your hands in a month.

Yoona: Hoshido isn't a bad place, they're just out of touch. Besides, I suppose trade is something that's just out of the question?

Subaki: Darling, it's at least better than The Road Not Trekked, in which we're constantly throwing around fantasy slurs that didn't occur in canon. Yes, Hinoka and Oboro use the "Nohrian scum/filth" a lot, but it wasn't like we were allergic to working with Nohrians. Silas even earns the respect of both Hinoka and Oboro, and that's not to say of the other Hoshidans such Lord Ryoma. I worry of Boyd and Leliel if they spork that, it makes DDI's Hoshido look progressive in comparison.

Iago stepped out from his place in the shadows, "My lords and ladies, it's an honor," he began, "As his highness said, it is Queen Mikoto's energy that fuels the barrier separating our two nations. That means there is a limit to how much strain it can take. You'll remember the work you have all been doing for the past year to mobilize our forces around the barrier; a concentrated assault from all sides, and without warning, would be all it takes of overwhelm Mikoto, sapping her strength and her ability to maintain her shield. Afterwards, our forces will be in the perfect position to resume our campaign."

"Would that work?" Asked Leo

"I have it on the word of several esteemed mages," said Iago

Irene: Why is this greasy asshole here anyway? In canon, Garon keeps him around because he's really Anankos being a misanthropic bitter dragon who hates humanity and thinks they just plot and betray each other and Iago is a good example. Why should the "better" Garon be keeping a scheming cowardly mage like him? I know my son already addressed this but it bears repeating.

"Yea, screw you too," laughed Corrin, "I suppose by your estimations, I'll probably end up at the bottom of the bottomless pit by nightfall."

Benny: That would actually do both kingdoms a favour.

"And you must be Jackal, the handsome butler. I hear you're quite the warrior with those knives of yours."

"It's Jakob, your majesty, and I only train to be capable of any task that might be required of me."

Velouria: *groaning growl* This is very much going to be a thing…

Charlotte: It was only a slightly funny gag to begin with, but it also comes off as Corrin not really being clear on what Jakob’s name is to her friends and family. Not a good look.

Boyd the Reaver: No kidding. Behold, misnaming individuals for le funny memays and cringe comedy, because no nadir moment is ever low enough! Our heroes, everyone.

Irene: Camilla knows Jakob's name just fine in canon, Teenage DDI just can't decide whether he wants it to be edgy or be of low budget comedy.

"How touching...am I interrupting?"

The man approached from the same place Jakob and Lilith. Lilith immediately recoiled at the sight of him, and Corrin could understand why; she knew the face of a dangerous killer when she saw one.

"My name is Hans," the scarred man said, "I see you got the king's present."

*long silence*

Boyd the Reaver: *stunned silent* Th… The messenger…

Theresia: The messenger…

Jude: …is Hans.

Benny: This... this is just shoehorning characters without thought of how this would have played out in canon.

Beast Velouria: GARON, HOW DO YOU REMEMBER TO BREATHE!? UNDER WHICH PARTICULAR CONCUSSION MASQUERADING AS A PLAN WAS THIS A GOOD IDEA!? YOU ARE PUTTING A SERIAL KILLER ON DEATH ROW DEFENDING A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL FAMILY WHO TRIED TO KILL HIM! AND NOT JUST ANY SERIAL KILLER, BUT A POSSIBLE RAPIST GOING BY THE DESCRIPTIONS, ONE WHO OPENLY HATES ROYALTY! SUCH AS, I DON’T KNOW, THE WOMAN WHO TRIED TO KILL HIM! AT THIS POINT I’M PRAYING THAT IT TURNS OUT YOU DESPISE CORRIN AND ARE ACTUALLY ABUSIVE, BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU’D BE PROOF THAT ONE CAN EXIST WITHOUT A BRAIN, AND SO PROVE THE EXISTENCE OF PHILOSOPHICAL ZOMBIES YOU ADDLED, INBRED MORON! GRRRWAAAAGGH!

Irene: Well said, my alternate universe daughter. Krystal would be proud of that. As for why, Teenage DDI seems to be unable to decide whether he wants to make Gritty changes or stick to how things played out in canon. And Shocked Pikachu Face, things go badly!

Leliel: I don’t have the space or desire to go into another historical lecture, but suffice to say, there’s a reason convicts are generally not drafted into armies anymore, and why actual murderous offenders almost never are drafted even in countries that use convict draftees. To go back to a World War II example, look up Dr. Oskar Dirlewanger and how his battalion managed to disgust even his Nazi co-workers. (Not linking, it’s major trigger warning level stuff.)

Kaze: I get that there was an attempt at redemption and trying to reform criminals in a way that lets them have honest work but it doesn't work like this! He's not Jean Valjean who was left condemned for stealing bread and trying to escape, which also left him with a criminal record that denied him honest work, forcing him to break parole and impersonate! TVTropes notes that Rape is A Special Kind of Evil for a good reason. It's a sign of someone who is past redemption, past any sense of good left. It's a good thing DDI grew up and realized offhand rape mentions do no favours in edgy media.

Corrin crossed her arms, "Why would I want a bodyguard who shits himself at the sign of actual danger and runs away?"

Theresia: *weirdly draconic hiss* Did you forget the fact he was quite willing to fight you until you killed his two teammates in what seemed like a single blow, you harridan?

Irene: So you'll focus on what makes him more pitiful and pathetic as opposed to the actual crimes he was convicted of. What a wonderful moral compass you have, Corringula.

"You must understand, my lady...you are quite the intimidating presence," said Hans, "In an ordinary battle, I am quite capable. I suppose, if you truly object, you could always make a complaint to your father…"

"No, it's not worth the effort," Corrin waved her hand, "You can stay...just quit creeping out my maids."

Hans bowed, "Of course…"

Theresia: *as Felicia* “Then I’ll prepare the complaint form for your father to transfer away the obvious predator from us given how obviously uncomfortable we are and - oh wait, you’re Corringula. You don’t actually care about us.”

Yoona: You can tell like father like daughter. Corringula doesn't even think about the idea that a bitter convict would want vengeance and exploit a mission to offhandedly do something terrible, like say, murdering one of said maids.

Benny: Her maids not being worth the effort to protect from a known rapist and murderer is really something that doesn't earn affection from the readers. Then again, Teenage DDI likely thought this careless and flippant attitude was something "cool."

Jude: For the record, Secret Agent Agent Hans… needs a better title, but also isn’t a rapist or a murderer, that was something the nobility came up with to hide that his real charge was inciting a farmer revolt. Because as very recently shown by the King thinking putting a rapist in his daughter’s entourage, the nobility is the living embodiment of Hanlon’s Razor’s corollary: Sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.

Subaki: And for that matter, the author himself is that of Hanlon's Razor. Not malicious, just young and with a warped idea of how to do darker reimaginings.

Comments

[leliel_12]

Yoona: We're back, and we're not excited for what we have.

Neither were we!

Kaze: I chose to follow the Avatar on Conquest because I recognized they want peace and to stop the vicious cycle of battle and vengeance. But of course, everyone is supposed to be the bad guy and pacifism is spineless.
Benny: You can really tell the work of Teenage DDI's spite against any canon points of the gray-on-grey morality of the two kingdoms.

Dumb Young Game Of Thrones Fan Syndrom.

Subaki: Darling, it's at least better than The Road Not Trekked, in which we're constantly throwing around fantasy slurs that didn't occur in canon. Yes, Hinoka and Oboro use the "Nohrian scum/filth" a lot, but it wasn't like we were allergic to working with Nohrians. Silas even earns the respect of both Hinoka and Oboro, and that's not to say of the other Hoshidans such Lord Ryoma. I worry of Boyd and Leliel if they spork that, it makes DDI's Hoshido look progressive in comparison.

Hoo boy. That'd be a nightmare.

Irene: Why is this greasy asshole here anyway? In canon, Garon keeps him around because he's really Anankos being a misanthropic bitter dragon who hates humanity and thinks they just plot and betray each other and Iago is a good example. Why should the "better" Garon be keeping a scheming cowardly mage like him? I know my son already addressed this but it bears repeating.

Because he's there in canon! Honestly, given how Iago was literally forgotten in the epilogue, I feel that DDI didn't know why he was there either.

Irene: Camilla knows Jakob's name just fine in canon, Teenage DDI just can't decide whether he wants it to be edgy or be of low budget comedy.

Honestly, symptoms of edgy teenager a lot.

Irene: Well said, my alternate universe daughter. Krystal would be proud of that. As for why, Teenage DDI seems to be unable to decide whether he wants to make Gritty changes or stick to how things played out in canon. And Shocked Pikachu Face, things go badly!

If I had a nickel for an edgy fanfic that was also terrified of breaking stations of the canon and ends up warping itself to tie into it that I've sporked...

Kaze: I get that there was an attempt at redemption and trying to reform criminals in a way that lets them have honest work but it doesn't work like this! He's not Jean Valjean who was left condemned for stealing bread and trying to escape, which also left him with a criminal record that denied him honest work, forcing him to break parole and impersonate! TVTropes notes that Rape is A Special Kind of Evil for a good reason. It's a sign of someone who is past redemption, past any sense of good left. It's a good thing DDI grew up and realized offhand rape mentions do no favours in edgy media.

For which we are all glad.

Irene: So you'll focus on what makes him more pitiful and pathetic as opposed to the actual crimes he was convicted of. What a wonderful moral compass you have, Corringula.

Quite. It's so, so inconstant, too.

Yoona: You can tell like father like daughter. Corringula doesn't even think about the idea that a bitter convict would want vengeance and exploit a mission to offhandedly do something terrible, like say, murdering one of said maids.
Benny: Her maids not being worth the effort to protect from a known rapist and murderer is really something that doesn't earn affection from the readers. Then again, Teenage DDI likely thought this careless and flippant attitude was something "cool."

I'll bet. This is the kind of thing Higgs Monaghan from Death Stranding would approve of, and frankly, Higgs is an intentional self-parody of edgelords. If this comes off as the kind of thing that would be out of Higgs' mouth...

Subaki: And for that matter, the author himself is that of Hanlon's Razor. Not malicious, just young and with a warped idea of how to do darker reimaginings.

Ironic foreshadowing...