Chapter 5 ABD Commentary

[4leavesonaclover]

Original Sporking found here, Daily Palestine and other causes Click here
Current Rotation: Yoona, Caeldori, Benny, Kanny, Midori

Yoona: Yippee, new nonsense to get through. Also you may notice a new link, which we have been inspired through Galeshades and ElectricWindGirlfriend to support causes such as Palestine, which seems fitting because it gives what ABD Garon stands for the middle finger.

Fake desertion was one of the more risky infiltration methods he and other ninjas would carry out, however it was a great way to gain favor from the rank and file, even if officers were usually more skeptical, support from the soldiers was usually enough to get one through until they learned whatever they needed to and extract.

Leliel: And then get immediately court-martialed for disobeying orders and disrupting strategy, not to mention dead, because how the hell are you supposed to feed information to a commander who doesn’t know what you’re doing?

Caeldori: Odysseus would be rolling in his grave. Even his planted deceiver Sinon, who tricked the Trojans into bringing in the Trojan Horse into the city by making them believe destroying would incur Athena's wrath, didn't have himself maimed to sell the deception!

The first thing she noticed upon awakening was Ganglari's absence. Consciously, she knew it made sense that they wouldn't want her armed, but subconsciously she couldn't help but curse them for separating her from the one thing her father had ever given her.

Theresia: *sighing* To continue commentary on wasted potential...

Midori: If only, it could have made an excellent metaphor for Garon's hold on her.

Theresia: *turning green* …and Corrin’s mind revolving around sex...

Charlotte: Not to mention completely stupid. Actually sexually assaulting a noble of any kind, let alone a princess, is not a smart move from an opposing side. Especially in a medieval era, where battles are generally over territory, and many of the other side’s civilians are hopefully going to be working your ground soon. She should know this.

A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE… EMBLEM: 12 (Gotta get across the darkness with fear of sexual assault, no matter how irrational.)

Benny: Seems also racist, if you view the opposing nation as savage brutes who could rape you.

"That's not...for me to...decide," he struggled out, "Your fate...is in Lord Ryoma's hands…"

"Is that someone I should care about?"

Kanny: For goodness sake, there's sheltered, like my Mama and her other incarnations, and then there's suicidally out of touch, which is what Corringula falls into. Show some respect to your captor on an opposing side!

Leliel: She was then struck blind for the rest of the fic, because as the author’s notes on FF.net note, those trapped underground for an extended period suddenly exposed to light have a risk of permanent damage, and she has never been outside a place without a deleted sun, thrust into midday.

Charlotte: …honestly, that sounds like a good premise. Corrin, Blind Warrior of Nohr!

Yoona: That actually might change her for the better, secondhand eye scream feeling aside. Saint Paul turned himself around after being struck with blindness so who knows what it could have done for Corringula? Alas her eyes have plot armour it seems.

Jude: DOES THIS AUTHOR READ WHAT THEY FREAKING WRITE?! HAVE THEY NEVER HAD A HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE CLASS?! MIDDLE SCHOOL?! OR DO THEY THINK THAT PHOTOSYNTHESIS IS OPTIONAL?! HOW IS ANYONE STILL ALIVE?! HOW ARE THEY CAPABLE OF SUSTAINING A CIVILIZATION BEYOND SUBSISTENCE?! WHAT DO THE CARNIVOROUS WYVERNS EAT, MEATY AIR?! HOW THE HELL ARE THERE EVEN TREES?! HUH?! WHAT ABOUT THE TRRREEEAAAAAGH!!

Midori: I've actually known about plants' need for light since I was nine, but I'm digressing. There's... nothing that can really justify this, it's stupid even by stupid teen standards.

These are not humans. Nor are they dogs, or plants, or insects, or anything terrestrial.

Keaton: And, fun fact about tube worms; they live around volcanic vents. Which also happen to spit out things like sulfate, which is what the worms (or at least the symbiotic bacteria they depend on) eat.

Leliel: Here’s a dark truth for you, one that you, author, in your illustrious wisdom of making everything GRITTY(™) missed; all life eats. That food has to come from somewhere, and the process of getting that food changes what the organism looks like. A tree with bark but no leaves is a dead tree, and wouldn't have grown, leafless or not, in the first place, unless it was not a tree.

Keaton: Unless Nohr has some serious volcanic farming going on, there shouldn’t be any life at all. And even if there is, what life there is? Is not going to be anything that looks like a normal plant. Let alone a tree.

Benny: Nohr seems to be the equivalent of the unknown abyssal depths of the ocean. That may have some points in the "Dark" and "Mysterious" aspect, but loses points in any form of logic.

I hope you enjoyed it, you bastards, cause Nohr is coming. We're taking our lives back…

Charlotte: … -orrr, she could promptly turn scheming conqueror. *sigh*

Leliel: Look. I don’t mind the idea of this scene. Corrin has every reason to be pissed, especially if Hoshido is preventing any traders from showing up in Hoshido for… whatever reason. But to immediately channel that into desiring to not only take over Hoshido, but spite it? Given everything we’ve seen so far, that does not bode well. And it won’t.

Caeldori: Also seems incredibly entitled because since when was it your sun?

"Do not turn to casting blame amongst ourselves," Garon intervened for the first time since the talk began, "A house built upon shifting sands will fall."

Theresia: …we sadly cannot ignore my alleged real adoptive father.

Leliel: *snapped back to reality* Yeah, please, hit your family with the metaphors, Oh Cunning One. That’ll calm them down.

Kanny: Speaking of metaphors, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. If there's any house built on shifting sands that fall, it definitely starts from His Oh So Cunningness.

Leliel: Side note; in fact, we don’t even have to imagine what Sunless Hell Nohrians would look like, given how Three Houses, a canon game, thought this out - Kronya here is an assassin for the Agarthans, a fascist, imperialistic cult who has spent generations underground, and look it; melanin is nothing but a useless waste of energy and development resources to underground dwellers, and so, by all rights, Elise and Camilla should be people who could be visually confused with Kronya, and Corringula should be pretty dang pale herself due to lack of melanin production. About the only creative liberty done with the Agarthans is them having hair colors beyond “white”, and given how she’s the only Agarthan with any color, it could be she dyes it or is a genetic callback to surface dwellers. But I digress.

Benny: It also begs the question of if Niles and I are being whitewashed as a result of no melanin production due to the sunless situation. Ignatius thankfully shares in my colour, but as if Niles doesn't already have enough problems with how Nina looks...

Boyd the Reaver: But naaaaaaaaaaah, what do hard men know or care about science, or logic, or internally-consistent worldbuilding that’s less a constructed world and moreso a hastily put-together mish-mash of ideas glued out of spite for canon? Because apparently having an Eldritch Location at the bottom of a valley as well as one of the twelve dragon-gods in the setting’s Creation Myth is too much to ask for, BUT NO, DELETING THE SUN IS JUST FINE! EVERYTHING IS… FINE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

Midori: Also herbal mixes have been used since ancient times as an ancient sunscreen, so would it have too much to just say she had some applied onto her, even if it's a bandaid trying to keep a severed limb together? Or were the Hoshidans in the need to look bad not willing to share?

Leliel: Oh, it gets better! This A/N? Because it’s in the headnotes, this is the first thing you see in this chapter. A big, smug note about how the author isn’t mad, bro, are you?

Boyd the Reaver: As a fellow fanfiction writer… DeathDealerInc, where do you get off?! We’re not some kind of supreme author, we’re people who literally write things on the internet for free! Contrary to some beliefs, people who decide that, for whatever reason, they’re better than canon and can just patronize the critics who think they aren’t are not generally correct about it! This is coming from the guy who literally wrote an entire rewrite of all of canon because I hated how dirty a character I loved was done - do I think it’s better than canon? Yes, personally, but people aren’t wrong if they disagree! Taste is subjective like that you illiterate nonce!

Caeldori: Speaking as a young adult myself, it's the idea that you're on the top of the world and can do no wrong, only for adulthood to hit you and isekai you into reality. DDI certainly has had that awakening. This is why age limits exist for social media, kids, not just to protect kids from harmful stuff, but also from them posting stupid stuff that will haunt them in adulthood.

Yoona: And that's a wrap for this chapter. We didn't really have much to say that the sporkers haven't said, but we'll see in the future. Hello Azalin, and don't forget to click.

Comments

[leliel_12]

Yoona: Yippee, new nonsense to get through. Also you may notice a new link, which we have been inspired through Galeshades and ElectricWindGirlfriend to support causes such as Palestine, which seems fitting because it gives what ABD Garon stands for the middle finger.

Good point, and Merry Christmas!

Caeldori: Odysseus would be rolling in his grave. Even his planted deceiver Sinon, who tricked the Trojans into bringing in the Trojan Horse into the city by making them believe destroying would incur Athena's wrath, didn't have himself maimed to sell the deception!

Indeed. Deception is done to avoid injury in war.

Benny: Seems also racist, if you view the opposing nation as savage brutes who could rape you.

Definitely xenophobic - and also generic-ass anti-whoever propaganda.

Kanny: For goodness sake, there's sheltered, like my Mama and her other incarnations, and then there's suicidally out of touch, which is what Corringula falls into. Show some respect to your captor on an opposing side!

Exactly. This is all just "completely ignorant, but with extra and extra-sharp steps."

Midori: I've actually known about plants' need for light since I was nine, but I'm digressing. There's... nothing that can really justify this, it's stupid even by stupid teen standards.

Agreed. I'd be fine if it was a dark fairy tale or weird fiction, but in this "realistic" one...

Benny: It also begs the question of if Niles and I are being whitewashed as a result of no melanin production due to the sunless situation. Ignatius thankfully shares in my colour, but as if Niles doesn't already have enough problems with how Nina looks...

Oh yeah, that was something I feel bad for missing now.

Midori: Also herbal mixes have been used since ancient times as an ancient sunscreen, so would it have too much to just say she had some applied onto her, even if it's a bandaid trying to keep a severed limb together? Or were the Hoshidans in the need to look bad not willing to share?

I would not be surprised if DDI just didn't know about that.

Caeldori: Speaking as a young adult myself, it's the idea that you're on the top of the world and can do no wrong, only for adulthood to hit you and isekai you into reality. DDI certainly has had that awakening. This is why age limits exist for social media, kids, not just to protect kids from harmful stuff, but also from them posting stupid stuff that will haunt them in adulthood.

There is definitely a feeling of that, in retrospect.

Yoona: And that's a wrap for this chapter. We didn't really have much to say that the sporkers haven't said, but we'll see in the future. Hello Azalin, and don't forget to click.

Azalin: You have my gratitude.